Monday, 22 September 2008

Consent

Dear Readers, I am truly sorry for not blogging last week. Life has been busy, mostly good things but some bad ones too. Life is like that, isn't it? Bad and good things, in a mix. Now, I am trying to sound philosophical. I will leave that immediately. Anyway, I will try to blog twice a week.

Last entry in my blog made me think. Some people pointed out that they weren't at all excited by the image and there were some interesting discussions. Wilhelmina pointed out that she needed consent for it to be arousing.

Consent is important. It is crucial for all sorts of real life activity – at least of the kind of kinky varieties we are dealing with here. It is so important that it is really easy for me to state that spanking, for example, is wrong unless both parties agree. This makes it wrong, wrong, wrong to spank children. And I am not going to accept the argument that a child may choose between different kinds of punishments and thus consent to a spanking. That is just a silly argument.

No, I am not inviting you to discuss spanking of children. This area is a complete no no for me and I will not enter into any arguments. Full stop.

Back to my point. I do think consent is crucial in real life and it makes for good stories. There is so much to explore regarding that. And I do think most of my stories are about consent or some kind of accepting what is happening.

I still think the mind is allowed to roam more freely. There is something intriguing in non consensual situations, or situations when someone is forced to accept what happens to them.

What I am trying to say, is that there is something very sweet about stories about consensual situations, romantic meetings that have a kinky edge and all that. You should know by now that I do like that. But there is also something fascinating with something a tad crueller and I think we should allow that to happen in our fantasies and in our stories.

I think I am preaching for the converted but I wanted to say this anyway.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Janice--
For what (little) it is worth, scenarios with express consent can be rather drab, even vanilla. A good part of the spice of B/D is the uncertainty, and the danger.

You (being British -- GSTQ)are no doubt unfamiliar with the "Antioch Code," an ill-advised attempt to stop sexual assault on campus (I am all for stopping real-life sexual assault, BTW). Anyhow, the Antioch Code required the male to ASK and GET PERMISSION for virtually every step in a physical encounter, from hand-holding through kissing to, well, whatever. (Antioch College has, perhaps coincidentally, closed down).

OTOH, I do like the trust of tacit consent, and this is presumed in many of my (and your) stories. The nub of tacit consent is the right to say "no" -- though even this right can be (tacitly & temporarily) waived, or lost (as in slavery). And unlike my dearest Dove, I find unbridled power (exercised by, not upon, me!) deeply arousing -- except that I set limits of my own. (Hurt, but not harm, is one rule).

Sorry for the rambling rant. With luck, someone will disagree with me, and off we go.

Wystan Ephraim

Paul said...

Janice, never heard of Antioch except as a biblical city.
While agreeing that stories where everything is sweetness and light are a bit vanilla.
Tales that push my edges, perhaps make me shudder are much more interesting, if they contain something I've never even imagined even better.
Your darker side, from the point of view of your fiction, is your best side, in my not so humble opinion.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

wilhelmina said...

Dear Janice, best of luck with the blogging.

Whilst I do prefer consent it does not need to be implicitly stated nor does it need to begin that way but at some point the submissive party has to show consent or at least acceptance for me to enjoy the story. Though having said that it is certainly no hard and fast rule. The reason for that is we are complex creatures and different things move us at different times.

I did not much like the last picture you showed but I have seen another where a woman was tied spread-eagled on the ground whilst devils danced in flames around her with enormous erections just set on having some fun. For some reason I loved this picture, yet is it much different to the one you showed? Probably not that much.

In real life there must be consent at some point to some degree, no matter the relationship. The fantasy world is different and does not live by real world rules that is its allure. In there we are allowed anything. I also enjoy things a tad crueler at times, when the mood strikes though I have yet to really explore that in writing...all good things come to those who wait.

Hugs
Mina

Janice said...

Dear Wystan, thanks for your comment. I wasn't really making a statement about consent, this rant about spanking of children was just me...well, ranting. Consent is basic. And fantasies should be free. I think we agree.

Dear Paul, what a vote of confidence. Thank you so much. I do feel more confident hearing such things.

Dear Mina, we can't all like the same things. I don't like this one either. Just felt that I wanted to write about the mixed feelings.

Hugs

Janice

Anonymous said...

Have you ever read the novels of John Norman.

I believe you would enjoy them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Norman

http://www.worldofgor.com/

Janice said...

Dear Anonymous, I have read my share of Norman novels. I do have very mixed thoughts about them. You can read some of those thoughts here:
http://strangeimagination.blogspot.com/2007/01/slaves-and-masters.html
But I appreciate the thought though...smiles.

Hugs

Janice