Wednesday, 3 March 2010

That Other Side

Before I write about that other side I will talk about this side, the one that is here, on the blog, the one I usually write about.

In many ways I came to this kind of fantasies as an observer. There are so many damsels in distress out there, in stories and films, and I couldn't help being fascinated by it. Films sometimes depict scenes of abuse, even rape. There are book covers with muscular heroes battling fierce monsters while a scantily clad woman struggles in her bonds, hoping for the hero to succeed.

I have been fascinated by those themes, wondering what it would be like to be chained to the wall, clad in almost nothing and having to rely on some barbarian prince to rescue me. Or being the subject of abuse and horrors from villains and criminals. The crucial point is, of course, that it didn't just scare me, it attracted me. I felt a kind of thrill thinking of those situations.

Being as I am, I had to try to understand why a scene from A Clockwork Orange, where a girl is stripped naked to be raped, only to be rescued by accident by the protagonist of the film, why such a scene gave me this thrill and not just the horror one would expect.

Lots of things pop up, it's about not being responsible, being vulnerable, allowed to be sexual without guilt. But I will not go further down that road, at the moment. What I am trying to say is that it has been a gradual process, from being scared and fascinated to identifying and even trying to find some kind of beauty in being subject to abuse.

On this blog I have tried to explore this side of me, the Yin side. It has been a great relief to accept this side, the side that isn't what you are supposed to be, at least not where I live.

There is another side, however, albeit less dominant. Maybe that is the spot of Yang in the Yin and only goes to show that it is the balance between the sides that matters, not just expecting one to reign supreme.

He is there, of course, in my stories, like a shadow, or rather a dark undefined force. In my very strict division of things, in my fantasies, he tend to be male. I am of course talking about That Other Side now.

I am immensely fascinated by that side too. In my fantasies he takes the form of the arrogant man, the ruler, the conqueror, the one with confidence and power. Sometimes it is a woman, although she tends to be more balanced, more like a real person, balancing a desire to be cruel with a care about the other.

I have done a bit of writing, trying to see things from the other side, allowing myself to be fascinated by that sense of power. What is it like to be cruel and ruthless? What is it like to feel that power and enjoy it for yourself and care little about the other.

I have been reluctant to post any of those scriblings, since they are so completely different and strange compared to what I usually put here.

Sometimes this person is a young man, who discovers that he gets away with spanking his girlfriends. In fact, they like him to do it. He gains in confidence and may discover that he doesn't even have to limit himself to one girlfriend. He finds he can do what he pleases and in this strange, twisted world, the women allow him that, they are as fascinated as I am by his ruthlessness and confidence.

He may be a slaver, a man who deals in women as commodities. He loves women, in his own way, they bring him profit and are generally pleasing for him, as long as they are in chains, belong to him and obedient enough to do his biddings.

I think this slaver comes from my fascination by and love of those strange and exotic lands were women are slaves and can be bought and sold for gold. I am fascinated by being a slave there.

But as it happens, I get this image of the man who is the owner, the slave trader. I wonder what motivates him, why did he become a slaver? Does he have to be this swine, this villain, this evil creature? Isn't it far more interesting if he is a man with a heart, who loves his family, who has friends he cherish and who have loyalties and values? It is just that his world is a man's world, where women are there to please men, for the simple reason that men rule that world. And that there is no contradiction for him to be loyal to his friends and at the same time, completely disregard the wishes of a woman he has put his chains on.

How is it to be that man who actually enjoys spanking a woman, his woman, the woman he loves and cares about? How is it to be the man who feels elated and happy when he uses his power over someone to cause them to suffer, not out of hatred but out of sheer love for that power, being selfish and ruthless enough to admit to himself that he really enjoys it.

As you can see, I do have a lot of thoughts about this and they are, of course, as far removed from reality as my submission fantasies and as close to it as they are. What I mean is that they happen in a world that doesn't exist but are still concerned with real life emotions and thoughts.

A little disclaimer here. Please don't think that this discussion about a more dominant side of my thinking means that I have opinions about those of you who consider yourselves as being dominant. I know there are a lot of other things going on and that you regard trust and care and love as being crucial as much as any submissive person. These are aspects of my mind, thoughts about how people behave and do in fantasies, not a statement about real life people.


Manorlord said...

Breathtaking candor. Show us, oh please do.

Please, please. (

There, are you satisfied? Now you have me -- ME! -- begging...)


Alan said...

Dear Janice,

such a thrilling intensity! Yes, I feel the same way. And its such a deep pleasure to feel your words, the space between and the utter beauty in it"



Paul said...

Janice, beautifully expressed as usual.
I find you fantasies somewhat Gorean perhaps with a touch of Hollywood.
In some ways an attractive scenario, but not one that I would like to live in.
I like the fantasy of the young man who finds that he can spank any girl he wants, I think that I was fourteen when I dreamed that.
Why not try your hand at such a story, you are among friends. ;)
Love and warm hugs,

Anonymous said...
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Lea said...

Yes, please, dear Janice ...

... interesting here when you say you usually visualise the 'yang' as male ... when I like *all* you write and say ...

... also interesting that you use words like 'selfish' and 'ruthless' for the Dominant when, maybe, what lies far deeper might be much more complex - and, yes, let's keep exploring such - and yes please do here too!

Nikolai said...

An excellent thought. I'm reminded of something I heard about actors finding the motivation for bad guy characters. The tendency is to attribute evil motivations but pretty much everyone acts in a manner they consider right even if the outcome is objectively evil.

Perhaps your young man is acting drunk with power but somewhere in his logic he may believe that he is helping these women with some inner need since they don't absolutely refuse. He may simply come to believe that he has a right to spank women because he can. We often see this when a powerful person crashes and burns because they are exposed or finally run into a firm no.

Perhaps your slaver, as a young man, was confronted with an ethical choice that he buried inside when the first slave came into his possession. Now he simply has inventory that he protects, trains and merchandises. He may use his slaves for pleasure as an auto dealer drives a new vehicles. He may allow one to be used to train new employees in their duties. He does all this while doting on his daughter and being deferential to women of his class. Long ago, a line was drawn either by himself or by society. Having crossed a line where slaves are not equal to free citizens, your slaver now has inventory that is never confused with women.

Janice said...

Dear WE, thank you for your encouragement. I think your words make me more confident in posting odd stories about those things on the blog.

Dear Alan, thank you for your comment. I am glad you liked it.

Dear Paul, please forgive me my outburst on the blog, I am not angry with you and I know you didn't mean to cause offence. It is just that Gor crops up everywhere and I wanted to give my view. I do appreciate your support, very much, so thank you for reading and commenting, it means the world to me.

Dear Lea, I think I choose my words carefully, or at least not randomly. Ruthless is part of a kind of fantasies I have and so is selfish, but not necessarily as something negative.

Dear Nikolai, I can't but agree with everything you say, those are interesting thoughts and well put. Thank you for reading and commenting. Sometimes, however, you want the fantasy, the story to be far removed from reality so the ruthless are really ruthless and the selfish think only of themselves, and the slaver really has no qualms.



Alan said...

Dear Janice,

these words from German Czech poet and writer Rainer Maria Rilke may be inspiring for you and the readers:

"We must accept our reality as vastly as we possibly can; everything, even the unprecedented, must be possible within it. This is in the end the only kind of courage that is required of us: the courage to face the strangest, most unusual, most inexplicable experiences that can meet us. The fact that people have in this sense been cowardly has done infinite harm to life; the experiences that are called “apparitions,” the whole so-called “spirit world,” death, all these Things that are so closely related to us, have through our daily defensiveness been so entirely pushed out of life that the senses with which we might have been able to grasp them have atrophied. To say nothing of God. .”

All the best,


Nikolai said...

Dear Janice,

I truly understand that in fantasy the desire for a slaver who is ruthless and selfish would be more interesting. Regardless of his backstory, this is how he would appear to those who fell into his clutches. He would be a poor slaver if he could not act without mercy and inflict his will and desire without remorse upon those in his possession.

Janice said...

Dear Alan, interesting words. I don't think I am very courageous, though.

Dear Nikolai, I think you are right, there. There is an appeal in ruthlessness and it is not that, as such, I dislike about Gor, I hope I managed to convey that.