Just About...

Some people have made the assumption that I have stopped writing for the blog. I hope that is not the case, although I know my posts have been few and far between, lately. The urge to write down and share my fantasies are not as powerful as before. Maybe it has worked, in the sense that some of the demons are gone. Still I enjoy writing. It's just that I more seldom, these, days, sit down and write something that would work on the blog.

It is strange, I still see the blog as a labour of love and it has meant so much for me. Maybe I should try something else, try to find new ways for it, make it meaningful and worthwhile in some new and interesting way? As always, I am open for suggestions, and I am happy discussing things related to fantasies and imagination and that sort of thing. Communication has always been at the core for me.

I do believe the odd story will still appear here, but if you talk to me, suggest things, debate and discuss with me, maybe this could be something good. What do you, my dear Reader, want to read and see here, what do you want to discuss? What's on your mind?

Blogging Again?

Long time no see, as they say. My only excuse for not blogging is that sometimes life goes through periods when your mind is occupied with things that make you think that blogging is not the most important thing. I know this is a little dismissive, as if I didn't think blogging was important, or that you, Dear Readers, weren't important. For whatever it is worth, I can tell you that starting blogging has been one of the most important things in my life and that it has helped me a lot with a lot of issues. So I hope you will forgive me for being absent for such a long time and don't feel too dismissed by my arrogance.

If you excuse me some more I am going to be a little academic. I am fascinated by those details in fantasies that seems so important, the ones you focus your mind on. I am sure you have the same. It struck me that they seem crucial and meaningful and that if you focus on them you will understand why they are so prominent.

I even came up with a fancy name for these fantasy elements. I thought they could be called fantasemes, in the same vein as mytheme and that sort of thing. Although I find it useful to think of it as an important element that tend to be similar in different settings, I couldn't think of a definition that was scholarly enough and it all seems to descend into some kind of pseudo academic chaos.

So, let's skip the silliness and focus on what I am talking about. What I mean are those details that you really like, perhaps triggers you, or at least seem crucial in a fantasy. They may be simple things or quite elaborate series of events and only you, yourself, know what they are.

One such detail in my world of fantasies is the taking off of knickers and pulling up of skirts and sitting on chairs and seats. It is shamelessly taken from The Story of O, but that is not a problem, we are inspired all the time by things we see and hear. The important thing is that it triggers something in us, and that we pick up on a detail. This 'fantaseme' of mine occurs in many different settings, it can happen on a bench in a part, on the bus, but most often it happens between a man and a woman seated in a restaurant. He tells her to take her knickers off, pull her skirt up and she does it, trying to cover it up as much as possible. It is this combination of being exposed and touching the world, and at the same time trying to act normally. She knows it, he knows it, and, hopefully, no one else knows is. It is often a symbol of giving yourself to someone, the fact that she does what she is told. It seldom happens if she is already submitted to him, but as a provocation from him, one she accepts and submits to.

Another such detail or 'fantaseme' in my world of fantasies, could be the sliding of knickers down from your hips. I often delve on the details here, the sensation of clothes touching the skin, moving down and away from the body, the baring, the crossing over a boundary, going from clothed to nude. In addition it is important when the knickers slip from your feet. It seems to be another crossing over. Before that you can always pull them up, but by removing them they become unreachable. You seem to accept being bared, being naked. There are some additional details that seem to crop up. If this is done in a semi public place, as a part of the 'fantaseme' above, the knickers can be given to the other person who then, perhaps, takes them and puts them in his pocket or even throws them in a rubbish bin. This is a powerful symbol. It is discarding of clothes, showing that they are not going to be put on again, they are irrelevant and useless, what is required of you is being naked.

I could go on and on and I could also become really, really boring. But I find it interesting to think about those details, those 'fantasemes' and wonder what they say about the fantasy, what they mean and why they are so powerful. I wouldn't mind getting a reaction. Do you have those details? Do you know what they mean? Do you even think of them as important details?

Four Years and the Perils of Cold Weather

Today it is four years since I posted my first post on this blog. I just wanted to let you know and say that I am, after all that has happened, quite proud. I know it is slower now, but that doesn't mean I will close the blog.

I thought I should address another issue, while I am here. I have thought a lot about why I chose the picture for the last blogpost. Why did I take a picture of a naked woman in snow? The truth is that I have a thing about snow and cold weather.

Don't get me wrong. I don't like it. Snow can be beautiful and fun, but I don't enjoy freezing and being miserable in cold weather. What is it that attracts, then? I don't really know. But there is something fascinating about being forced into the cold, and especially when you are exposed and vulnerable. Being forced to pull down knickers in the outdoors and get a spanking, or being stripped naked and bound and marched in weather you would need a good jacket to endure, are things that crops up in my fantasies and stories.

There is something about the utter unpleasantness of it. If you walk out into the cold autumn and you feel the wind through your jacket and sweaters, it is a strange and terrifying, but yet exciting, thought that it would be so much worse to naked in that weather.

Maybe it is one of those things that you know you would survive, at least for some time, but that would be terribly unpleasant. And thus something that could be done to you, if someone had the power to punish you. Maybe it is the utter vulnerability, the sense of being outdoors, being exposed and unprotected. I don't really know.

I have had a hard time explaining this to myself. A lot of other things may be traced back to something pleasurable. Spanking includes intimacy, and there is a clear connection between pleasure and pain that gets exciting when you think about someone controlling that for you. All this about being bound and enslaved is not that strange to understand, after all (well I have been fretting about it on the blog, but I do see the logic in it). Being looked at, and being looked at without clothes, is something nice, at least if you are desired. And being a slave holds a lot of promises of pleasures, and without the burden of responsibility.

But being cold? Being marched naked into the snow? There are few things that are so utterly unarousing (new word) than freezing. It must have something to do with the utter helplessness and vulnerability.

I remember watching some film clip on the Web where some woman who was quite tied up and gagged and very naked was taken out into the snow and even pelted with snowballs. I remember feeling shocked at the sheer meanness of it all. But, then, there was this strange excitement. And when I had seen it I began to include it in my fantasies and I began to let it happen to me (in my mind, of course). I guess, though, that it ties in with older fantasies about being outdoors and risking being seen or, actually, being seen.

Never mind, I just wanted to write about this and welcome any input from you, Dear Readers.

No, I Haven't...

...abandoned my blog. I have been busy in Real Life, as they call it. There have been some illness in the family and a lot of worry. I am ok, but it has taken a lot of time and energy. I guess you don't really want to hear excuses, I still thought I owe you an explanation. It just hasn't felt right to be scampering off into fantasyland at the moment.

I just wanted to blog today, to say that I am still here, I still read emails, I still communicate with people, although not so much from the blog. And I hope I will be more active soon and I apologise to you Dear Readers for having being so absent from here.

It is slowly becoming winter here (although it is still autumn), so I thought I should post a picture to cheer you up, of a young lady in the snow, in the buff, so to speak. Take care!

Hello

Hello, Dear Readers. I am back from a loooong holiday. I know I am supposed to be relaxed and refreshed now. The truth is that I am much the same as before. This doesn't mean I didn't have a brilliant holiday, I had, a very lazy one, with lots of reading and just staring into nothingness. Thing is with holidays that they tend to make you more like how you are, so if you are content you feel more content but if you are sad, sometimes, the sadness catch up with you. I think, however, that this is a good thing, that you have time to become more who you are, warts and all.

No new stories, today, I just wanted to say hi and let you know I am still here. I hope you are still there. Take care and be kind to yourselves.

Summer

It is time again, Dear Readers, for the summer holiday. I will be away, longer this year than usual. There will be no blogging until I come back and that is in August. I am a privileged person, I know, but I can assure you I will try my best to make the most of my summer...smiles.

Take care and be kind to yourself and don't forget to let your minds wander. We need our imaginations, that is something I am sure of. Have a great time.

Blog and Blogging

As you may have noticed, I haven't written much for the blog lately. It's not as if I am running out of ideas, more that I am not sure what happens in my head is good for the blog or is about fantasies, about the delightful pastime it can be.

I do often question my reasons for blogging. I began because I needed to know that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't the weirdest person on the planet and you have truly helped me with this. You have given me confidence in my writing and that means a lot to me, more than most other things, really.

The way I feel now, I find it hard to sit down and write stories for the blog. Maybe I am becoming to cautious, thinking that what I write will be too weird. This, I think is being unfair to you, Dear Readers, because you have always been very kind and not the least judgemental. I tend to write things that are too grim or too silly, and not fantasies as such and I fear they won't fit the blog. Maybe I am just being unfair to you, I don't know.

Maybe I am taking my writing too seriously and is becoming bigheaded. I have always felt that fantasies, for me, are about more than just something nice and exciting I can use when I don't have anything else to do. I am not implying it is like that for anybody else, but I think that some people take it far more easy than I do. For me there is the matter of deeper emotions that are expressed through fantasies and I think I am moving on to more painful things, and the images in my head sometimes appear strange and unappealing.

And, again, you have always told me to just write and don't be too bothered with what you as readers will think. Yes, there is a lot of agony in this, because I have truly loved blogging and now I don't know what to do. It seems a bad thing to abandon it, because my mind is moving somewhere else, but on the other hand, I am not so good at writing the kind of stories I have so far been doing, anymore.

I know my blog isn't the most popular out there, but I also know that you who come back to it are very caring and kind people and I do care about you in return, in my own strange way. I don't want to let you down but I am not good at trying to please you either with the blog. It has been too personal for that and that has been the magic of it all, that when I am personal and selfish, you have enjoyed it too. I really don't want to lose that.

Maybe there will appear a weird and unpleasant story here, now and then, we'll see. In the meantime, take care and be kind to yourselves.

By the way, I am fascinated and a little surprised by the comments to my last piece. It is amazing how the minds works. I have replied in the comments, which I always do (almost), although it takes some time.

Thank You

Just a short blogpost about politeness. I do appreciate politeness, I really do. I see on some forums and blogs how people take any opportunity to be rude and seem to look for anything they can misconstrue as something they don't like. I don't understand this and I get a little upset when I am being attacked for trying to talk about something nicely.

My point with this post is to say that this never happens here. You are a very nice bunch of people who come here and read and comment. I never have to delete rude comments or nasty opinions. There is no meanness and no anger. I am sure you don't like everything I write and disagree with me quite often and with each other but still you are polite. Thank you, Dear Readers, for that.

Just to let you know. If you sometimes see comments disappear it is almost always because they try to use my blog for selling something. I think I once or twice, during all this time, have had to remove a comment because it was too personal or too rude. Sometimes someone post a comment and then correct it immediately, then I usually remove the first of them. But I don't see this as being rude.

Confusing

From time to time someone emails me regarding the blog, something they have read on it or just generally. Most people say really nice things, it seems as if something I have written really has struck a chord, they have connected to something on the blog. Believe me, few things make me happier. What more can you ask for? You write something you like to write and it turns out that someone recognises themselves in it or are really moved by it. That's the best reward, really.

Some of those seem very keen on communicating with me and I am likewise happy doing that. But then something happens. Often, but not always, they lose interest. It is as if the enthusiasm wears off and I am left with unanswered emails. Don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone writing to me has to commit to a life long cyber friendship. That's not what I meant, these things come and go, that's in their nature. Still I wonder why that happens, why do they stop, why do they just disappear, without a word?

Maybe it is the nature of cyber space, I don't know. But I can't help thinking that it is because I am not what they expected and that they are disappointed when they find that instead of this mysterious, free thinking, bold and sensual person they find a rather boring, dry academic kind of person, someone who is quite prudish and not keen on adventures.

I am like a horror writer who doesn't believe in ghosts (quite common, I believe). I don't believe in uneven relationships and arrogant, authoritarian people really put me off. Power fascinates me and power exchange and uneven distribution of power is interesting, even exciting. But the real me will just walk away from someone who is too arrogant.

Don't get me wrong here. I have nothing against people who want to live in spanking relationships or BDSM-relationships and who are happy submitting to or dominating one another. It is just that it isn't for me. The very reason I dare indulging myself in my fantasies is that I live in a very equal relationship, a relationship where we depend on each other and support each other in equal measures.

Those of you who care to dig deeper may have seen those themes in my stories, that there is a lot about dependence and vulnerability and how to try to accept that this is a part of life and that you may submit to that, open yourself up and try to trust rather than protect yourself.

And I don't pretend to sit here with the key to what my stories are about. They are about so many things and not all of them in perfect harmony. There is a bit of repressed emotions and desires and ambiguity when faced with arrogance. But that is how we are, a mix of thoughts and emotions.

Enough of this rant. I am in so many minds when it comes to the blog. I know it is ok when I write stories but I am not so sure when I rant or just analyse a picture or something similar. I often think that I shouldn't write about me here, that my stories are far more interesting than what I think about them. Believe me, they are.

Honesty?

I have been blogging about my fantasies for almost three years now. I have dared to write about my own, sometimes, silly preferences and desires. I have almost only been met with acceptance, tolerance and enthusiasm. This is a true blessing, to realise that what I fancy, what I am ashamed of admitting I fancy, actually are things that you readers either accept or even like.

This grace makes me happy and it makes me more prone to accepting others, to be less judgemental about what others enjoy and prefer. I don't think I was very judgemental before but the generosity and acceptance I have received have only gone to strengthen this stance.

I have tried to be honest, as far as I am able. And this leads to a dilemma. Fantasies are about what we fancy, what we want and desire, maybe even what we fear and loathe. They evoke powerful emotions, strong feelings and overwhelming desires. This means that negative feelings are as prominent as positive ones.

What I am talking about is that when we move in the land of fantasies and when we share we are bound to come across themes that are as powerfully repulsive as other are desirable. One persons turn on may be the other's turn off.

It is not always easy to only write about the positive and never mention the negative. I have avoided that just because I don't want to be judgemental or seen as being judgemental.

I haven't talked about my dislike for high heels and how rubber suits are at best silly and at worst a real turn off for me. I haven't told you that dressing sexy is more likely to be a body hugging short black dress than a pair of high heel leather boots and latex top with a pierced belly button.

Don't get me wrong here. I have no problem with people who fancy crotchless rubber suits, or pony tails sticking out from their bottoms. I don't fancy it myself but I do understand that some people do, and I understand that they like it as much as I like the thought of being undressed against my will (chuckles) by a powerful and handsome stranger.

It is just that I sometimes question my honesty when I avoid talking about my dislikes out of fear of alienating absolutely lovely people who may have a kink I find to be a turn off.

I will try to say this as clearly as I can. I have no problems with kinks and fantasies I don't like. I am more than happy to talk about fantasies for fantasies sake with you, even if you imagine I am dressed in rubber from head to toe, while doing it. I love to talk about fantasies, good or bad.

And to be perfectly honest, I don't know why I am writing this blogpost. I guess it is because I want to be honest, maybe even write about my dislikes but I don't want to be judgemental. I suppose there is no getting away from it. When you write something down it gets a kind of authority I sometimes find a little intimidating.

I still think you are the best readers I could ever have imagined.

Hello

Slow and low seems to be the order of the day. Thank you for the comments. You are really wonderful, dear Readers. I have no good excuses for not posting anything today, so I won't try to explain it away. It has been one of those weeks, or two, that makes you want to forget about everything and just sit in a corner and stare at the world.

I will be busy this weekend, relatives coming to visit, so any blogging will have to wait till next week. But then I will put something up, if nothing else, something from the archives. Take care and thank you, again, dear Readers, for your comments.

Love Our Lurkers Day

You mean a lot to me, Dear Readers, and your comments are much appreciated. Still I don't want to force anyone to delurk just to be kind. Still it would be nice to hear from you, you who read but don't comment.

I do imagine my readers to be a fairly small but dedicated group of people, at least the ones who comment are very nice and kind and enthusiastic. I can't tell you how much your encouragement means. I do welcome critical voices too, of course, even if it may not seem that way. More than anything, I want to share and talk about fantasies with you.

This doesn't mean you have to have anything important or clever to say to delurk, no, a simple 'hello' is very welcome.

This idea about delurking comes from Bonnie over at the My Bottom Smarts. Go and visit her cracking blog.

After Story Blues?

Dear Readers, as you may have noticed, I haven't been blogging much, lately. I don't really know why. It's just that my mind hasn't been set on travelling through fantasy land for a while. Reality – or what to call it – demands my attention, I have felt a kind of distance to fantasies, especially of the kinkier sort.

I feel a little fed up with my stories and my constant returning to the same themes. How many times can you vary a spanking story? I have spoken about darker thoughts but when I sit down to write they don't transfer to words on the screen.

Maybe I am blocking my own mind, maybe I am scared? I don't know. I do love writing still but I do love kinds of writing that don't always seem to fit this blog. Sometimes when I read stories I have written I can feel that I really like parts of them, enjoy a description of a person or the interaction between characters. Sometimes I find the spanking or the naughtiness it leads to a bit alien to the rest of the story.

I have become more and more focussed on the underlying emotions, the mindset that makes people do the things they do in kinky stories. Like I am fascinated by dependence, vulnerability and even submission but not necessarily in the dungeon of some master or mistress but rather in everyday relationships.

The truth is that I don't know what I want to do with this blog at the moment. I know, for sure, that my mind will return to the thrill of fantasies but at the moment there is a kind of low in that area. I want to continue writing, to continue exploring my thoughts and emotions but in areas that are a bit removed from the fantasy worlds I have come to share with you, dear Readers.

I know all this sound very dramatic but don't take me too seriously, please. I just feel that I have tendency to keep a distance, to talk through my stories rather than address you directly. I thought I should talk to you and tell you what is really on my mind, at least regarding the blog.

This blog is about fantasies, not about stories and if you want, I would very much want to hear from you, about those fantasies, what they mean to you, what you think they are trying to tell you, how they work, what's important in them. They are important, we all know that.

I have been blogging for almost three years now and it has been a great time. I see no reason to stop now but I know I have to figure out what I want to do with it all, the writing and the blogging.

I promise I will post any stories or thoughts that are suitable for the blog, or perhaps even if they aren't. Even if my mind is a little empty at the moment, I will not abandon the blog. Take care.

Hello

I am back. Hope you have had a nice time while I was away. It is a strange experience coming back from a holiday like this. I am not at all in the mood for everyday life. This will be a short blog post. Anyway, I am glad to be back.

I read a book while on holiday. It's called Sexual Deviation by Anthony Storr and was published in 1964. Kind of interesting to read about the view on those things, 45 years ago.

It is so easy to be superior and laugh at a book like that. Homosexuality is a deviation and is analysed, the author trying to find the reasons for it. I assume you agree with me when I am thinking that the question is the wrong one. Considering the behaviour of our closest relatives, the Bonobos, the question should not be, 'why are some homosexual?' but rather 'why are so many exclusively hetero- and homosexual?'

There was an interesting part about Sadism and Masochism. Thing is with this book that although it was very old fashioned and PC for that time, some of the observations are interesting. There is this thought that being a Masochist you long for being a child again, when you were cared for and had no power over what happened to you. This rings true to some extent.

I know there is a reluctance about explaining or discussing reasons for various kinks within the 'community'. I think that is a little short sighted. I know analysing the reasons, may open up for the thought that there is something wrong with enjoying spanking or being submissive, but not doing it, is burying your head in the sand. I think there are reasons for the way we behave but that doesn't mean it has to be wrong and should be explained away.

I think, at least for me, there is a kind of truth in the idea that being submissive is, partly, longing for being as helpless as a child. Enough analysis now, just wanted to say that although that book was prejudiced and old fashioned I couldn't just dismiss it.

Maybe that is the reason why, in fantasies, the longing for submission is total, maybe that is the reason why I, sometimes, have this desire for being completely and utterly submitted and even degraded and humiliated. Maybe they are signs of that utter helplessness you may experience as a child, a vulnerability that isn't a bad thing, but something you enjoy. Are you with me, still?

When it comes to blogging and writing I feel more and more that I am not so interested in writing yet another spanking story. I have lost my heart for it, at least for the moment. When it comes to fantasies and kink, I feel that I am drawn to more darker sides. And having written that, I become uncertain, because there are lots of more romantic stories in my head too and some about more subtle things.

Anyway, we'll see what will happen. I am a little disappointed, though, that no one commented on the picture in the last post. I think it is very nice. There is a kind of everyday sense to it, just an ordinary person lowering their trousers feeling the touch of a stick, waiting to be whipped. Something about that lack of glamour and stylishness that appeals to me.

Amazed

That is what I am by your reactions. I have had my doubts about this story, seeing that I was losing readers while I was posting it. So, even if you aren't the majority, your comments tell me that you care about the story. This is fantastic. Imagine that I can write something that engages you!! And believe me, this is no pretence or false modesty, I am honestly amazed that what I write means something. I have learned this when blogging, it is true, but the wonder of it still amazes me.

For your information, the story, as it is now, contains some 33,000 words (just a tad shorter than Heart of Darkness) and although I started writing it in May, last year, I wrote two thirds of it during six consecutive days in November, just before I started posting it. Why do I tell you this? It is because I want you to know that I haven't been writing it while I was posting it.

In my mind there is a continuation and I hope I will be able to sit down and write it. I have some ideas for it. On the other hand, I found that stopping now wouldn't be a bad idea. It is an ongoing process and there is no real end point. There is no obvious conclusions to the story.

I would want to write some more, but I don't know when I will have time to focus on it. I need to focus to write these stories. I know I tend to end mid-story often but this one is different. I was thinking of it as a longer story. A story like Waiting was never meant to be more than the first bit. Some other stories I still feel I should continue with.

On the other hand I have an urge to go back to what this blog was all about: fantasies. I don't mind stories but I feel sometimes that fantasies, dreams, and imagination aren't always captured in stories. A story has its own life, moves in its own ways and a good fantasy may not be a good story. Maybe I will try to talk about fantasies, or find other ways of expressing them. Someone said something nice about my drawings, maybe I should try more of that.

When it comes to stories, I feel, somehow, that I am a bit tired of the ones I have been writing. One comment, by Meta, raised an interesting question. She was a little bothered by the fact that the heroine of Surrender wasn't told in advance that she was to be used, as it was, by another. I agree with her on one level, I would have been too, if it was me. To be perfectly honest, I am quite sure I would be severely traumatised by a lot of the things I let my heroines go through. On another level I want that edge. I didn't think of it but when Meta pointed it out I realised that I wanted it to be this way, that she wasn't told, she wasn't asked, she had no opportunity to say no.

It is fiction, after all, and I am interested in that harshness, that cruelty, that kind of edge in a story. I am a dreamer, I imagine things. I do not write about the real thing, the real relationship, when you need after-care and when stop words are essential. I do recognise the importance of that, I really, really do. But in a story, I can let the needed trust, the thing that makes both parties sure, beforehand that everything is ok and wanted, be replaced by a gigantic leap of faith, or a shocking revelation that not until later makes sense.

In fact, if I am honest about what I want to write I am drawn to the dark and weird, at the moment. I feel I am too kind sometimes, in my stories. I do like the romantic, the sweet, the mutual and good. I do love a happy ending. But that is not all I like, there is a sharper edge to my imagination too and it is not easy to let it out.

So, we'll see where this will take me. There will be no continuation of Surrender immediately, maybe later, I am sorry. Take care and thank you for reading.

Happy New Year

Hope your year has been a good one, mine has, generally. This will be a very short blogpost to let you know I am still here and will be blogging next year too. And to wish you all, dear Readers, a very happy new year. Take care and be kind to yourself.

About Writing and Arrogance

I am fascinated by the reactions I got to my story Arrogance. I asked what you thought the title referred to. I am fascinated but not surprised that I got so varying replies. Someone suggested that Sarah was arrogant and another that the men were arrogant.

I don't know, but I suppose that those who found Sarah arrogant saw this as more of a traditional story where the arrogant female gets her well deserved spanking. That she had it coming and it was about time she was smacked for real. I don't say that it wasn't a traditional story but personally I find very little in her actions that speak of arrogance. Her disbelief and demand for explanations are what anyone would experience and do in her situation.

But the beauty is in the eye of the beholder and understating characters has its points. Did you notice that the young man was a very meek kind? Maybe he didn't deserve to be in charge and the arrogance was that his friend took it for granted that the woman should bow to the man in any circumstance?

There is no right and wrong. I am firm in my belief that when a story is written and presented to the reader it belongs to the reader as much as the writer. So, those of you who saw Sarah as arrogant have all the right in the world to do so. I don't mind.

This leads me (in quite a roundabout way) to another thing I wanted to say. Someone said about my Surrender story that they didn't know if they would like the man and another that the heroine wasn't very well described.

Both of those things have to do with understating and not describing. There is a great power in what is not said in a story, the point where the reader adds what they think.

Still I think the man is clearer than the woman but there is a reason for that too. She is the narrator and she is the one telling the story. Why would she describe herself other than pointing out certain features (which she does)? And would you really trust her if she told you what she thought about herself? I wouldn't. I do hope, though, that both characters will be clearer over time, when you see their actions.

Two Years

Two years ago today, Janice started to blog. Imagine that! Two years! It seems like a long time, but not long at all. If you want you can go back and read my first ever blog post. I think I have been true to my mission statement. I write what I want and I write about fantasies.

Blogging means a lot to me. First and foremost it shows me that I am far from as weird and strange as I have imagined. It is a lot about that, to be honest. What I didn't expect was the response I got and still get. My blog is far from the most popular out there but it has allowed me to communicate with a lot of nice and interesting people and I know there are a group of you who keep coming back.

Blogging has boosted my confidence too. Your encouraging comments means the world to me. I reread my stories and of course I blush when I see some of it but sometimes I am really proud because I like what I see. Sometimes I live up to my ideal of writing what I want to read.

It is not perfect, I am sloppy and my stories would benefit from some more editing but that has also been part of if for me, that I shouldn't just blog stories I think are perfect but instead look at them and think they are alright and put them on the blog as they are. Had I not done that, I would still be editing the first ever blog post, believe me, I am hopeless when it comes to that. So having a blog that is not error free is an achievement in itself for me.

Two years is a long time and I feel I have achieved something. And this is thanks to you, Dear Readers, a great big hug and smile to you.

And don't forget to read the latest story now, the one before this post!

Love Our Lurkers Day

Dear Readers, today is the Love Our Lurkers Day. This means that this blog post is for you, who read but never comment. Don't get me wrong. I think it is absolutely fine to read and not comment. So if you want to continue being a lurker, I don't mind. I am happy you read anyway.

Still it would be nice to hear from you. You don't have to say something clever or even nice but any kind of comment would be welcome.

I love writing and I love blogging and the fact that I know some of you are out there reading makes it all worthwhile. So, Dear Readers, take care and be well! And remember to be kind to yourself!

Oops, forgot to say that the original idea comes from dear Bonnie, at My Bottom Smarts. She is an inspiration and a mentor to all of us spanking bloggers.

Ups and Downs

Dear readers, as you may have noticed, I haven't been blogging as much as I use to. I am fine. It is just that I haven't had much to say, lately. This is a little lazy, I know, but on the other hand I feel bad just writing something I don't have my heart in.

I have been blogging since November 2006, and on average I have had two blogposts per week (at least when I haven't been on holiday). I m not bragging or looking for pity, just telling you that I have been doing this for some time and at the moment I don't really know what I want to say, what story I want to tell.

I am not giving up writing. Far from it. It means so much to me to realise that I enjoy writing, the power of being able to express myself, being able to share my thoughts and fantasies.

And writing isn't just about spanking fantasies. There are so much to write about and talk about. I think, however, that I will stick to fantasies in this blog. Don't worry, I will not bother you with long romantic stories here. Unless there is some spanking in them.

Anyway, I will be quite busy for a week and a half and won't be blogging until beginning of September. So, apologies for letting you wait for the next blog post.

So, there readers, thank you for reading and being so kind to me. You are the best! I will be back. Have fun!