More than one person have told me that the men in my stories often are quite unpleasant characters, rather cruel and generally not very nice. I so wonder why that is. To be honest, I don't think it is completely true, there are some that are quite nice but I agree that there are some quite horrible people there.
I have thought a lot about this and have no really good explanation. I have some ideas though. One thing that springs to mind is that I use the first person narrative quite often and when I don't, I still identify with the one being spanked. That is not always true but most often. This is about fantasies and it is about being on a strange journey, experience something that is unusual, out of the ordinary, something shocking but also exciting and arousing. That is the nature of my fantasies, the very reason for them to be there. And if I, as the one having the fantasy and writing a story with it in, if I side with the one being on this journey, I am selfish enough to think of me, how I feel, how shocked I am, how aroused I am and how much it hurts. I don't want to be concerned with the other. I relinquish control and I don't want to be responsible for the other, the one doing this to me. I think they may become quite anonymous and perhaps a little dark for that reason. They have a role to play, the role of being cruel and unkind, because that is what they are supposed to be. They are not real characters in real stories about believable people. They are actors in a fantasy.
Another explanation has to do, perhaps, with something I have very mixed feelings about. It is about love and relationships. We all know that a good relationship should include love, mutuality, equality and friendship. Not trying to be exhaustive here...smiles. Of course spankings can be combined with that as long as you love and care for each other. It is not that. It is more about something that happens in my head. When I think of really good relationships; fantasise about people falling in love, there is a certain sweetness and care and tenderness that I think of. In my head I do have a hard time combining that with smacking someone's bottom in order to cause pain.
This is just me. I know that most people have no problems with this and can see the sweetness in the spankings or just think of it as something fun. There are so many ways you can get this together and I am fine with that, rather impressed really. What I am saying is that when I fantasise I have a hard time combining the sweetness with the harshness of spankings. I have written stories where I try to do that but it is never simple.
So, I live in a relationship that is based on love and equality and a lot of good things. There is sweetness and care. Maybe it is why I go to the extreme in my fantasies, that I allow myself the cruelty and harshness of spankings, of wanting it to hurt. As a contrast to the sweetness that is in love.
My thought is that the spankers in my fantasies are a bit dark and cruel and unpleasant because they are doing that which is painful and mean, because that is how I want it in my fantasies. I go somewhere else for the sweetness. That is just one thought.
It doesn't explain, however, as someone pointed out, why the women are so much nicer, even if they are spanking, in my fantasies. So maybe this was just a lot of rubbish.
In my defence, I can only say, that if there is somewhere where it should be ok to be contradictory and weird, it should be in your very own fantasy land.