Thursday, 12 June 2008

Dialogue

You know by now that I like dialogues. Here is a long one. I haven't even marked who is saying what and that can be, kind of, annoying. I hope it is not too confusing and the flow of the conversation is still easy to follow. You have to decide on your own what kind of situation this is and how much about me it is...but that goes with everything I write.


And I have something to celebrate, two things, really. This is my 150th blog post and the number of visitors is now over 50 000. This is not much for those who have thousands of visitors every day but I am very proud. To be honest, I am very proud of my blog. I think I have achieved something. Thank you all for reading!


'Let us talk about your fantasies!'

'What about them? I have told you everything.'

'Perhaps you have, but still, can we talk about them?'

'Sure, anything.'

'As I understand it you have different, should we call it, types of fantasies.'

'Mhm.'

'There are those about slavery, you are being a slave and you are sold and then become a slave somewhere, like in a tavern or in a palace or something, or even the desert.'

'Yes, that is one type.'

'And then there is another kind, slightly different, with more green forests and you being a captive of some man. They are quite similar but you say they are different.'

'They are very different.'

'I have noticed you call yourself slave in the first type and captive in the other. Is there a difference?'

'It certainly is. A slave is when you live in a society where a person can be a slave, when it is accepted that she can be owned and sold and that sort of thing. No one will care if you are a slave in that sort of society. A captive, well, that is more between me and him, he has captured me, taken me and he is the kind of man who doesn't care if anyone minds.'

'I see, so there is a kind of difference in how public it is, being slave being public but captive a little more private?'

'I suppose...'

'Which leads me to the third kind. It makes sense now, this type is even more private, isn't it? You are with someone, often a man and he spanks you.'

'Sometimes there are people looking. You make me blush.'

'Why do you blush?'

'Just because I do.'

'I get the impression that it is about you and some other person and they spank you. And this is often in modern time to there has to be some kind of agreement about it. Am I right?'

'Guess so.'

'A question.'

'Go ahead, ask away!'

'When, say, a man has spanked you, in one of your fantasies, what happens then?'

'I don't know, the fantasy stops there.'

'But if you try to continue, what happens after you have been spanked?'

'I see where this is going.'

'Where is it going?'

'Always a question.'

'I know, but where is it going?'

'You are wondering if we are having sex?'

'Are you?'

'Why does it always have to be sex involved? Everyone always think of sex. It has nothing to do with sex. It is a fantasy about spanking, full stop.'

'I was just asking.'

'It is not about sex.'

'Are you sure?'

'Positive!'

'May I try to convince you that it may have to do with sex?'

'Give it your best shot!'

'It is a lot about nudity.'

'Nudity doesn't mean sex.'

'That is true but it often does.'

'It doesn't have to.'

'In your spanking fantasies, it is a lot about removing clothes, isn't it? There is always something that has to be bared, you have to take down your knickers. There is a lot of knickers in your fantasies.'

'Are you suggesting that I am preoccupied with knickers?'

'Not preoccupied, just that it is an important element.'

'Which means?'

'Oh, underwear and the removal of underwear is often connected to sex. Removing clothes is the preparation for sex.'

'It also makes the spanking harder, more painful.'

'That is true but why choose a body part that means you have to expose your sex when preparing for a spanking. Why not hands or feet or even the back? Why always the bottom?'

'Don't know.'

'Try to think about it!'

'I guess it is because it is there you spank, on the bottom.'

'It was quite common on the palms.'

'Maybe I didn't know that.'

'And in your slave and captive fantasies. How are you dressed there?'

'Naked.'

'Does it mean anything?'

'Well, if you are to be sold, they may want to look at you.'

'And the man who captures you?'

'Well, he is a man.'

'And why does he, as a man, wants to have you naked?'

'Alright, I see what you are getting at. But because he is a man and thinks of sex, I don't have to.'

'Tell me, what are you thinking when you walk there, by this man, bound and...naked?'

'I don't know. I guess I am thinking about the road ahead and what will happen when we get there.'

'What will happen?'

'I don't know.'

'Can't you think of anything?'

'No!'

'You are captured by a man, who has tied you up, stripped you naked, and you know he has stripped you naked because he is a man and you are a woman. Can't you think of anything that may happen when you make camp?'

'It would be logical.'

'What would be logical?'

'I guess he could be...well...interested in...well, having me.'

'Having you? Sexually?'

'Yes, sexually.'

'But that is not what you are thinking of?'

'No, I am thinking about if he will whip me when we make camp.'

'Ah, that is interesting, why would he whip you?'

'He may be annoyed with me, I am too slow or something.'

'How does that make you feel?'

'Scared.'

'Can you be more specific, try to describe how it would be to walk there, bound and naked on the way to camp and thinking about what this man would want to do with you when there!'

'You are directing me to think about sex.'

'Just a little, not very much, really. But, please, try to describe what you are feeling.'

'Alright. I am walking there. It is hot and I am tired. I know...no, I hope we will soon make camp. But I am a little apprehensive. I am scared he will whip me. It makes me feel, well, it is a kind of...how could I explain it, it is like my cheeks are hot and my heart is beating and I am upset...well...almost excited.'

'Excited, that doesn't sound like something altogether bad.'

'No, I guess not, it is not altogether bad. It is...well, rather nice, being excited. It is almost like I am looking forward to it. I am both scared and longing for it.'

'You want him to whip you?'

'Yes, yes, I think so. But no, I don't want it. It is very confusing. I both want and don't want it.'

'Where do you feel this excitement?'

'How do you mean where?'

'You know, certain sensations are sometimes connected to body parts, like you feel it in your cheeks when you are embarrassed, it is very individual, fear can make your heart beat faster and that sort of thing.'

'It is like a tickling, tingling sensation, it makes my cheeks warm and...well, my body...sort of reacts.'

'Reacts?'

'Well, yes, kind of tickling.'

'Where?'

'Alright! I am aroused. Satisfied now?'

'I am not trying to convince you you are thinking of sex. Just hinting at the possibility.'

'So being naked is about sex?'

'I would believe so.'

'So it is all about sex then?'

'No, not all, but I get the feeling it might, just might be connected to it, to some part.'

'So this kind of...joy, I am experiencing, when I...well, am being, sort of, you know, enslaved...or sold...when I...hm...am, like stripped naked...in public...sort of thing...could that...then be...like I am...aroused...I mean...a sexual thing?

'I wouldn't be surprised.'

'But I am thinking of being whipped, not having sex.'

'Well, a man is stripping you naked, beating you with his whip so you are lost in the sensation, makes you scream and cry. I wouldn't be the first one to think of it as standing in for sex.'

'But this being sold then, there is no whipping, no screaming there.'

'Just a suggestion, could it be about being seen? People are looking at you. They are seeing you as you are. You are not allowed any protection. You are naked and everyone can see you. And you experience a kind of...don't know exactly what to call it, a kind of elation or excitement.'

'Did I tell you that?'

'Not now, but I think you have hinted at it, earlier.'

'Because it is right, elation and...well excitement.'

'That is kind of strange, why would you be excited by being sold as property, unless...unless is means something else. Unless it means you are being seen by all and everyone and evaluated and, this is important, found to be valuable. But you are not just being evaluated as a worker or some field slave, no you are standing there naked, everyone can see your body and being naked may, I say may, mean that you are showing yourself as a sexual being, a body that can be desired. And you are desired, people are bidding for you, showing that you are valuable, and valuable in this context may mean attractive, sexy.'

'So this is some way for my subconscious to tell me to strip naked and be “sexual.”'

'No, not at all. It may, however, tell you that you want to be seen as attractive, and maybe that you already are seen as attractive. Or just to accept that you are a sexual being.'

'Why has it all have to do with sex?'

'It hasn't all to do with sex but a lot has.'

'So what are you saying?'

'I am just saying that you may want to try to accept that you too have desires and needs.'

'Sexual needs?'

'Yes, among others.'

'So all those fantasies, what are they?'

'Images of you, what you feel.'

'Ah, that simple?'

'Yes, that simple.'

'But not, like, straightforward?'

'No, not straightforward. Fantasies are like dreams, they have meanings but not necessarily like a whipping means you want to be whipped.'

'If I shall trust you it means I want to be fucked.'

'It is one possible interpretation. And I have never heard you say “fucked” before.'

'Gosh! Did I? Well, I did, didn't I?'

'Yes, you did.'

'What does that mean, then?'

'I think it means you are on a journey.'

'I guess I am.'





5 comments:

Paul said...

Janice I would guess that you are the one being questioned, who your interlocutor is, I have no idea.
I would add that he, definitely he, is gently trying to seduce you, and is succeeding, not so much trying to get you into bed, but to make you aware of your sexuality.
Your writing is always a pleasure, thank you dear girl.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I have had such dialogues with myself (reversed of course in the magic mirror and not always on paper.) I suspect that you, dear J., are both the questioner and the questioned. You are as acute as the former and as candid as the latter.

Indeed, my dear, you are the question itself...

I wonder (vainly) if there is any significance to your emphasis on the word "journey." Probably not. (Alas).

Cheers,

Marcus

wilhelmina said...

Janice, what a great read. What a fantastic way to explore desires, reasons, feelings for what we do.

I always think it is sexual regardless of whether sex takes place. Personally that's how it is for me, that link is undeniable in how I react to it all.

That she said the naughty 'f' word at the end was quite abrupt almost like a slap. An awakening perhaps.

Lovely and thanks.
Hugs
Mina

Anonymous said...

janice, the questioner sounds vaguely familiar. I know someone in my own life that is a lot like that. Thanks for another wonderful read.

penny

Janice said...

Dear Paul, I believe you are right in the sense that it is about my fantasies but you should always allow a certain freedom from reality when reading something from me.

Dear Marcus, of course you are right too. I wrote it, after all, so I get to play all the parts, always. But it is an interesting pursuit, don't you think, to try to look at your own fantasies.

Dear Mina, yes, that was one of the points with this, that there is something sexual with a lot of fantasies. I will maintain that there are a lot of other things going on as well but it is always there, as a part in it.

Dear Penny, in reality I would think that someone this persistent would be quite annoying.

I can tell you that my vision was a really mundane one, with a psycho analyst or something, someone who had an explicit interest in trying to figure things out and for the benefit of the one replying. But as I always said, any interpretations are allowed.

Hugs

Janice