When I first came to be interested in spanking it was when I heard stories about how they punished people in older times. It was harsher then, it was common to spank kids and corporal punishments was not uncommon, I mean real floggings and whippings. The excitement grew from the thought that that kind of punishment included some nudity. You were stripped to your waist being flogged and if you were spanked on your bottom you had to bare it. The punishment became, in my mind, both extremely embarrassing and quite exciting at the same time and I am still concerned about this duality, good and bad at the same time. In my mind the fact that you had to partly strip was at least as bad as being whipped or spanked in itself. That is silly but minds are like that, sometimes.
At first I was an spectator and in my mind I was horrified and excited about people being spanked, especially women. It was later I started seeing myself at the receiving end (pun intended). Still, in my mind, spanking was punishment and there ought to be a reason, a kind of guilt and some kind of forgiveness in the whole business. One powerful image was how I was accused of something I had done but by mistake and I was to be punished. The one punishing me tells me that there is always forgiveness and that I will be forgiven but that I had to be punished before that. The unfairness and meanness of that made me somewhat excited.
The guilt part has become less and less important and I began to see spanking as a kind of inequality between people and I was focussed on the fact that spanking is violence against a person, not because you want to defeat him but because you have defeated her and you use that power to make her suffer. That is cruel and mean but still exciting. It became connected to female submission and male dominance although some of the spankers in my imagination are other women or girls. Spanking was an expression of that inequality, a language expressing that difference using the woman's body. There is a difference in power and that is crucial even if the power has been given with full consent.
Attitudes in my fantasy do not travel well into the real world. I do not think that women, in general, should be subjected to men or anything. It is rather the fact that this idea is quite absurd that makes it exciting in my mind. Fairness in the real world is one thing, inequality and submission in fantasies another. It seems to be connected to that imagination often is in sharp contrast to my reality, that I tend to turn things to its opposite there. This does not mean that I have any objections about how other people arrange their relationships. People are free and should use that freedom to their best knowledge. I write about my imagination.
Nowadays, I find that the emphasis on subjection and domination is less important and that I have fantasies about people living out their urge to spank and be spanked. Still there are questions I cannot, really, answer. Why do you enjoy spanking someone and wanting it to hurt when you really love and care about them and why would you want to be spanked when the basic idea is that it is supposed to be painful and humiliating?
I know that there are plenty of people who have no problem with this and do not want to analyse it further but I still find this a bit troublesome and hard to get my head around.
As a note at the end: I do really object to the spanking of children, in any form or fashion.