Friday, 7 November 2008
Sweet Spanking, part 4
This is the last instalment in the story about Isobel and her Juliet, at least for the time being. Maybe I will continue with it, maybe not. I don't know. They live in my imagination and perhaps they will not be denied but only future can tell.
I dressed the next day as I went to college to teach. My bottom was still sore and I still felt the caning while I was sitting in a meeting.
I was a lecturer, a professional. But something sang in my head that more important than that, I was Isobel's woman, I was Isobel's.
Monday was busy and Isobel was away in the evening so I spent it reading. It was not until Tuesday we had time together.
We were both tired and sat in the sofa watching telly. It was nothing exciting on and I was becoming bored and wondered if I should go and do something else when Isobel turned to me.
'How is your bottom?'
'Much improved,' I replied and Isobel chuckled.
'That is good,' she said and looked a little concerned. 'You know, I don't really want to harm you.'
'I know,' I said and smiled, 'but you want it to hurt.'
Isobel didn't reply immediately.
'Yes, I do,' she said sounding very thoughtful, 'yes, I want it to hurt. That is the strangest thing.'
This was something I couldn't get my head around. She wanted it to hurt and I was dead scared of it, still it was a part of what we had, Isobel and me. It was a part of she being the one doing and I the one being done to.
'Do you enjoy it?' I asked.
Isobel let out a short nervous laugh.
'Yes, Juliet, I do,' she said, 'I do enjoy it.'
'So it is not just a heavy duty?' I said mockingly but with a smile.
'Far from it,' she said, 'far from it.'
'But that makes it a dangerous path,' she said after a while, 'doesn't it?'
'That you enjoy it?'
'Yes, it opens for the risk that I would do it just because I like it.'
'I suppose,' I said.
'It should really be for you,' she said.
'Yes,' she continued, 'all this about your discipline, you obeying orders and that. It should be as a punishment, something to make you follow those orders.'
'Do you think I do as you tell me because I am scared of punishments?'
'No, Juliet, I don't think that. I think it helps you do it, that it is for you.'
I felt strangely intimidated by the thought. I knew she was right, that the threat of six of the best with the cane made me more eager to do everything correctly, it sharpened my mind. But still the thought of it being done for me was humiliating.
This whole thing, about discipline and Isobel being in charge, had started awkwardly, as a joke. Isobel had always been the stronger and I had felt, from the start that she enjoyed being the one in charge, being the one who decided things.
I was not like that at all. I felt as if I was being cared for, and I felt comfortable letting Isobel be in charge.
Isobel sometimes joked with me when I was a little reluctant doing what she wanted, like when she suggested something for me to wear I wasn't so keen on.
There was these miniature power struggles. There were really no hard feelings but Isobel told me what she wanted and I stood up for my will.
Sometimes I let her have her will and sometimes I didn't. When I gave in I got the tiniest of thrills from surrendering to her and when I didn't I felt confident in defying her. It strengthened my pride. I wasn't sure that was for the best though.
When I defied her she sometimes joked about punishing me for doing it. She could say that I should really get my bottom smacked for being disobedient.
My willingness to give in seemed to strengthen Isobel and she seemed to flourish with the power I gave her. Later it turned out that she really meant that about punishments. It was very awkward at first and we both felt quite silly.
It had to be like a game at first, a childish game we played but later it became something more real, something we both felt more comfortable with.
When I say comfortable I mean only that it didn't seem silly, that had become something real. It wasn't just a game any more, a game we were both embarrassed to play. Isobel wasn't ashamed any more and that made it different.
The next day, it was the Wednesday, I went shopping. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I knew what I wanted to tell Isobel but exactly how, I wasn't sure of.
I went from shop to shop and walked down the aisles looking for the right thing. I knew I would be sure when I laid my eyes on it but after some shops I started to doubt myself.
In a shop for shampoos and nice smelling oils I found what I was looking for. When I held the bathbrush in my hand I knew this was right.
I weighted it in my hand and found that it was quite heavy. It was sixteen inches long and had a flat and sturdy head. When I slapped it against my palm I imagined everyone in the shop would turn to me and see what I was doing, they would know. This made me both terribly embarrassed but also strangely proud.
'This will hurt,' I said to myself and trembled, 'it will be perfect.'
I bought the brush and went home on very shaky legs.
'Is this for me?' Isobel said as I handed her the parcel.
'Yes, it is because I love you,' I said feeling very melodramatic.
Isobel removed the wrappings and held the brush in her hand.
'Is this what I think it is?' she asked.
'Yes, it is.'
'Thank you, Juliet, this is really sweet.'
'Isobel, it is more than just that.'
'More gifts?' she said and smiled, pretending to be a girl on her birthday.
'I just wanted to tell you,' I said and hesitated.
Isobel looked serious.
'About what you said, yesterday,' I continued, 'about enjoying it. I just wanted to say that I think that it is good. Ah, what I am trying to say is this: I think you should do that, I mean, enjoy it, or rather do it, to me, when you want it. What I am saying, Isobel, is that I think you don't have to punish me.'
She looked at me.
'You mean that I should use this just because I want it?'
'Exactly!' I said, 'that is exactly what I mean. That you do it when you want it.'
'Are you sure about this?'
'Yes, I am sure.'
'This will really hurt.'
'Isn't that the point, isn't that what you want?'
Isobel looked at me for a long time.
'Thank you,' she said, 'thank you, my love.'