Friday, 7 November 2008

Sweet Spanking, part 4

This is the last instalment in the story about Isobel and her Juliet, at least for the time being. Maybe I will continue with it, maybe not. I don't know. They live in my imagination and perhaps they will not be denied but only future can tell.

I dressed the next day as I went to college to teach. My bottom was still sore and I still felt the caning while I was sitting in a meeting.

I was a lecturer, a professional. But something sang in my head that more important than that, I was Isobel's woman, I was Isobel's.

Monday was busy and Isobel was away in the evening so I spent it reading. It was not until Tuesday we had time together.

We were both tired and sat in the sofa watching telly. It was nothing exciting on and I was becoming bored and wondered if I should go and do something else when Isobel turned to me.
'How is your bottom?'
'Much improved,' I replied and Isobel chuckled.
'That is good,' she said and looked a little concerned. 'You know, I don't really want to harm you.'
'I know,' I said and smiled, 'but you want it to hurt.'
Isobel didn't reply immediately.
'Yes, I do,' she said sounding very thoughtful, 'yes, I want it to hurt. That is the strangest thing.'

This was something I couldn't get my head around. She wanted it to hurt and I was dead scared of it, still it was a part of what we had, Isobel and me. It was a part of she being the one doing and I the one being done to.

'Do you enjoy it?' I asked.
Isobel let out a short nervous laugh.
'Yes, Juliet, I do,' she said, 'I do enjoy it.'
'So it is not just a heavy duty?' I said mockingly but with a smile.
'Far from it,' she said, 'far from it.'
'But that makes it a dangerous path,' she said after a while, 'doesn't it?'
'That you enjoy it?'
'Yes, it opens for the risk that I would do it just because I like it.'
'I suppose,' I said.
'It should really be for you,' she said.
'For me?'
'Yes,' she continued, 'all this about your discipline, you obeying orders and that. It should be as a punishment, something to make you follow those orders.'
'Do you think I do as you tell me because I am scared of punishments?'
'No, Juliet, I don't think that. I think it helps you do it, that it is for you.'
I felt strangely intimidated by the thought. I knew she was right, that the threat of six of the best with the cane made me more eager to do everything correctly, it sharpened my mind. But still the thought of it being done for me was humiliating.

This whole thing, about discipline and Isobel being in charge, had started awkwardly, as a joke. Isobel had always been the stronger and I had felt, from the start that she enjoyed being the one in charge, being the one who decided things.

I was not like that at all. I felt as if I was being cared for, and I felt comfortable letting Isobel be in charge.

Isobel sometimes joked with me when I was a little reluctant doing what she wanted, like when she suggested something for me to wear I wasn't so keen on.

There was these miniature power struggles. There were really no hard feelings but Isobel told me what she wanted and I stood up for my will.

Sometimes I let her have her will and sometimes I didn't. When I gave in I got the tiniest of thrills from surrendering to her and when I didn't I felt confident in defying her. It strengthened my pride. I wasn't sure that was for the best though.

When I defied her she sometimes joked about punishing me for doing it. She could say that I should really get my bottom smacked for being disobedient.

My willingness to give in seemed to strengthen Isobel and she seemed to flourish with the power I gave her. Later it turned out that she really meant that about punishments. It was very awkward at first and we both felt quite silly.

It had to be like a game at first, a childish game we played but later it became something more real, something we both felt more comfortable with.

When I say comfortable I mean only that it didn't seem silly, that had become something real. It wasn't just a game any more, a game we were both embarrassed to play. Isobel wasn't ashamed any more and that made it different.

The next day, it was the Wednesday, I went shopping. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I knew what I wanted to tell Isobel but exactly how, I wasn't sure of.

I went from shop to shop and walked down the aisles looking for the right thing. I knew I would be sure when I laid my eyes on it but after some shops I started to doubt myself.

In a shop for shampoos and nice smelling oils I found what I was looking for. When I held the bathbrush in my hand I knew this was right.

I weighted it in my hand and found that it was quite heavy. It was sixteen inches long and had a flat and sturdy head. When I slapped it against my palm I imagined everyone in the shop would turn to me and see what I was doing, they would know. This made me both terribly embarrassed but also strangely proud.

'This will hurt,' I said to myself and trembled, 'it will be perfect.'
I bought the brush and went home on very shaky legs.

'Is this for me?' Isobel said as I handed her the parcel.
'Yes, it is because I love you,' I said feeling very melodramatic.
Isobel removed the wrappings and held the brush in her hand.
'Is this what I think it is?' she asked.
'Yes, it is.'
'Thank you, Juliet, this is really sweet.'
'Isobel, it is more than just that.'
'More gifts?' she said and smiled, pretending to be a girl on her birthday.
'I just wanted to tell you,' I said and hesitated.
Isobel looked serious.
'About what you said, yesterday,' I continued, 'about enjoying it. I just wanted to say that I think that it is good. Ah, what I am trying to say is this: I think you should do that, I mean, enjoy it, or rather do it, to me, when you want it. What I am saying, Isobel, is that I think you don't have to punish me.'
She looked at me.
'You mean that I should use this just because I want it?'
'Exactly!' I said, 'that is exactly what I mean. That you do it when you want it.'
'Are you sure about this?'
'Yes, I am sure.'
'This will really hurt.'
'Isn't that the point, isn't that what you want?'

Isobel looked at me for a long time.
'Thank you,' she said, 'thank you, my love.'


Anonymous said...

Janice you should invite all the blog readers to your own public whipping,we would all like to see you sripped naked by a muscular man before being dragged to a whipping post tied with your hand's high above your head and whipped.To see you writhing under the whip,red stripe's criss crossing your body under a sheen of sweat would be a very erotic sight.Only my imagination Janice. PS Don't forget my invite. LOL

Paul said...

Janice. you bring Isobel's dilemma to the fore very well.
Juliet solves it beautifully.
When I'm with a submissive who wants to be spanked, I have to balance my desire to spank her against her need to be spanked.
Getting this equation right is vital to this relationship.
I hope that sometime in the future Isobel and Juliet will return.
Warm hugs,

Anonymous said...

I've read all these and they are really good.........its confusing and contradictory what we do and I expect most of us have made the same journeys of doubt that Isobel nad Juliet have, we may not all come out in quite the same place, but I've rarrely seen the contradictions captured quite so well.


ps - "she seemed to flourish with the power I gave her".....relate to that one too!!!

Mina said...

Thanks Janice these stories have been very enjoyable and I like the conclusion, that some of these dilemmas were solved or at least brought out for further discussion.

The balance of both parties needs and desires is important and what can really make it work I think.

The gender really doesn't matter here it is the things they have understood and learned between them that is the prize.

Well done dear friend.


Janice said...

Dear Anonymous, who said I would enjoy a public whipping? But if you mean a fantasy one, then, consider yourself and all readers invited. I believe there have been both public and private whippings of me, here on this blog.

Dear Paul, I have thought a lot about that. I am glad I managed to capture some of it. I would imagine a spanker would desire to let go and just spank as much as they want but at the same time they are responsible for the spankee. Tricky dilemma.

Dear Recidavist, thank you for those words. I would imagine that there would be many dilemmas and doubts. And I am glad I managed to strike a chord with you...smiles.

Dear Mina, thank you for the comment, they are on a journey and I am glad it could be seen in the text. And the gender thing, it just happens, these two people happened to be women. But I think you are right, it doesn't really matter, love is love.



Anonymous said...

This has been a true saga -- we have seen conflict, change, and an enlightenment of sorts.

I suppose one remaining issue is this: what if the spanker wants/needs to inflict punishment, in order to feel pleasure in the act? You have often made clear that your own (and your creations') desire is for a kind of letting go for its own sake. They are not "naughty" -- they do not "deserve" their fate. That would, in some sense, detract from their experience. They accept/ embrace their pain, because they wish to give themselves completely. But what if the Other wants "naughty" -- needs it (to assuage their own guilt, or from some fantasy of their own)?

Just another long-winded thought...


Ollie said...

Hmmm, Wystan has a point, It may not be just because Isobel wants it, although she doubtless does.
Isobel may require there to be a causal act, some alleged or confected infraction to justify to herself the act of hurting Juliet.

Certainly she will enjoy it, wants it, but there may also be that self justification which she requires.

Janice said...

Dear W, I have thought about that, that there may be a conflict between the wishes in such a relationship. I have thought about the spankee wanting a reason for the spanking and the spanker more into the fun of it. But your conflict is interesting too.

Dear Ollie, you definitely have a point and this latest instalment would suggest that there is a journey of discovery concerning this.