Monday, 5 February 2007


What does it mean to be submissive? Is it something you are, as a person, something that captures how you react to things? Or is it a reaction to a certain situation so that you are passive and submit in one situation but active and dominant in another? I believe in the last definition.

There are so many patterns that tie in with this, when you are active or passive, extrovert or introvert. When someone gives you and order, at work, for example, and you say, yes. Aren't you submitting to someone then? When a man holds a door open for a woman or pay for her at the restaurant, he is, to some extent, dominant and she, who accepts it a little submissive, accepting the offers, the suggestions.

There are situations when submission is called for and generally accepted, such as in the military and perhaps in religious life (in many cases). I don't think anyone would call a soldier submissive.

And being a soldier is something very manly, at least in a traditional sense. Other kinds of submission is more associated with being a woman. Whatever view one may have regarding equality between the sexes there is a pattern, (at least) in western society, of female submission and male dominance. Even if it is only expressed in the way we date and treat each other in public life. And only in certain situations. It seems more acceptable for a woman to be a little passive, a little submissive than for a man. In addition, a man is often required to be active and dominant rather than passive and submissive.

I often wonder about myself. What am I? Am I a submissive person or a dominant person? Reading my blog you would probably say, definitely submissive but that is only part of it. I am another person in reality. I can be active and determined in certain situations, like when my work is concerned, and then, for example, when my very special touches me, I can be very meek and passive, maybe a little submissive even. And you know that I enjoy fantasies about submission.

The truth is, I suppose, that there is a little of both in all of us, like there is a little Yin in Yang and vice versa.

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