Wednesday, 7 March 2007


The secret lies in the details. The essence of fantasies is the details. Details are ever so important in a story as well but a story is different. You need a narrative, some kind of logic to it. There needs to be a how and a why and reasons and connections between the details, the whole and everything. My fantasies are often snippets, situations and emotions and there are not always a connecting story, a logic to them. I am not saying that fantasies are surreal all the time and not contain narrative. What I am trying to say, I think, is that fantasies are about sensations and emotions and that they, sometimes, are quite patchy, in a way that is not possible in a story.

Often in a fantasy there is a situation or a sensation that is the important thing, not the how and why of it. Often there is a tiny detail that makes it important. I often want to stay in the situation, the sensation and I am not always interested in the implications.

Let me give an example! Imagine there is a sturdy pole set in the ground. At that pole there is a woman. She is bound to it, her hands tied together behind the pole. She is naked (would you expect anything else?). There may be people there, regarding her or perhaps the risk of someone passing by is great.

It is not, always, important to think about why she is put there, who put her there and why she is naked. The sensation of imagining to be the naked woman is enough for a fantasy. What would it be like, standing there, naked and bound? Would I be embarrassed? Probably. Would I feel attractive? Yes, that is part of it. Why? I don't know, maybe because I am exposed to anyone who wants to look at me and I want to think of myself as being attractive.

And there are details that make the fantasy important. Perhaps the one who tied me to the pole put a rope around my throat, pressing it to the wood. Perhaps my feet are tied too. Perhaps someone put a note above my head stating the reason why I was tied to the pole. Perhaps there was a crime and a punishment. Perhaps the note tells the passer by to take advantage of me.

The details are not just things I want in reality, things that make me aroused or excited. No, they point to things, to questions, to meanings. And I, for one, am curious about those meanings. I don't just think that being tied naked to a pole is something that I want happen to me in real life. No, I think it means something, but not necessarily a reflection of (possible) real life events. It seems more exciting and interesting to think of it as meaning a desire to bee seen, not being able to hide. Perhaps the tying of the arms means that someone else is responsible and I do not have to take the blame.

It is not always important to think about the before and the after. Often it is enough to stay in the sensation of the fantasy, just let it be there.

I know there are a lot of people interested in fantasies of this kind that care very little about analyses and underlying reasons, who are happy with their desire to spank, be spanked or maybe submit and serve. Everyone has their own way to happiness and I want to understand what moves in my own mind.

1 comment:

Simon Kade said...

It has been said that the destination is often not as fulfilling as the journey. Always enjoy the ride.