Thursday, 8 November 2007

Ten Things... perhaps already had figured out about Janice. This is a fascinating exercise. I don't generally talk about myself in this blog, except for what is in my head but now I give you some exciting facts about myself. Don't ask me why I wrote everything in third person! Could it be that I am in denial?

1. Janice is a prude. She is extremely embarrassed about sex. Her fantasy mind seems to be that of a thirteen year old, which means sex is exciting but very, very embarrassing. This means she is embarrassed about explicit descriptions about sex and some words. You may have noticed that there are very few explicit descriptions and not many naughty words, on her blog. That is the prude in her. This does not mean, however, that she doesn't do it and doesn't enjoy it. She is older and bolder now but she is still quite prudish. The ones who think repressed sexuality is a driving force behind her blogging may be right.

2. Apes are among Janice's favourite animals and her favourite ape is the Gorilla. And regarding the nature of this blog she feels compelled to add that she has never had any sexual fantasies including apes. Still Gorillas are very nice and interesting and they look cool too.

3. Janice sometimes hits stationary objects with her bicycle which causes her to fall off it and hurt herself. To be honest, this has only happened once the last twenty or so years. But she did stumble and take a fall on the platform of Cardiff Central some years ago. She made a fool of herself and almost lost her glasses but she survived.

4. Janice is a great fan of Bowie's and has seen him in concert five times. She thinks most of his music is brilliant and that he is a spiffing poet as well. She does, furthermore, think that his later music is as good as his earlier works. She doesn't think Bowie is just Ziggy Stardust but was Janice to become a rock star she would want to be Ziggy Stardust, despite the fact that he is (or was) a man.

5. Janice loves cats, not only kittens but cats in all shapes and forms (almost). She once had two cats, one white and one black. The white one went missing and the black one moved to another place. Both of them were stray cats. The oddest thing happened when Janice moved places. The black cat, then living at a neighbour (this was in the country and the neighbour actually lived a mile away) and not showing herself for Janice or her partner for many years, suddenly appeared and ran along the car the last time they left the old place. It felt as if she came to say goodbye.

6. Janice is married and happily so. It is, of course, stupid to pretend that everything is nice and cosy always but she loves her husband to the extent that she feels bereaved whenever he is away and can't sleep well and is generally unhappy when he is not by her side. And she also feels more loved and cared for than ever in her life. Although she has been together with her partner for many a year she has been married to him for less than a year.

7. Janice is extremely embarrassed about her body and is very uncomfortable in places where she is supposed to show it, like on the beach. Although she loves swimming, this makes it a little awkward to do that. It is not because she feels ugly or is too fat or too thin or anything. She feels ok and knows herself to be attractive to some degree. It goes back to childhood and a sense of being ashamed of her body, not because it was anything wrong with it but just because it was like that. This may be the reason why there are so many women getting their clothes off in her fantasies. It may have to do with the mixed feelings she has. Nudity is embarrassing, degrading and generally humiliating but nudity also means a lot of exciting things, like showing off, being who you are and, of course, sex. Those mixed feelings are always present in her writing and seems to be the driving force behind a lot of her fantasies.

8. Janice loves art from the Victorian era. Her favourite painters are Sir Edward Coley Burne-Jones (nice long name, eh?) and John William Waterhouse. She doesn't think Picasso was a genius, the opposite actually. This does not mean, however, that she despises all kinds of abstract art. She thinks Mondrian was a brilliant painter. That is how she is, Janice, full of contradictions.

9. Janice likes computer games. She is not very good at them but she enjoys them from time to time. It may surprise you a little that meek and silly Janice actually enjoys killing people and monsters in games. She does like to play nice games too, like the ones where you build things up, cities and settlements and such things.

10. Janice has never been spanked. Not in childhood and neither later in life. She has no real idea of how it would be to be spanked but her vivid imagination still returns to the subject. She is quite fascinated by the fact that she seems to describe emotions that people with real knowledge about spankings experience. She thinks this is due to the fact that we are all humans and think alike and that the imagination plays an important role even for those who have hands on bottoms experience, so to speak.

Well, alright, eleven things...

11. At this point, about here, Janice's blog contains slightly less than 85 000 words. A normal page in an ordinary novel contains some 300 words. This means that Janice has written text corresponding to some 280 pages. That is a novel in less than a year.

Ok, twelve...

12. One of Janice's favourite pastimes is kite flying. She owns several kites with her husband and loves to go and fly them when the winds are right. Her favourite kite is a sports kite with two lines and she is getting quite good at making it fly in circles and figures but still has a lot to learn. She feels strangely happy as the kite pulls its lines and almost appears as something living, something with a mind of its own.

13. Janice's husband took her for a trip to Bristol for her birthday to attend a kite flying festival and then to the zoo to say hello to the Gorillas. She truly enjoyed her weekend in Bristol and was amazed by the skill of some of the kiters (is that a real word?).

Ok, that was thirteen things.


Dove said...

Thanks Janice for sharing these snippets with us. I had been thinking of doing the same thing but now shall have to leave it or I will look like a copy cat and that isn't my style. You have been very open here and though I knew much of it I loved number 13, where your husband took you to two things you really enjoyed. He sounds like a very good sort. :-)


Paul said...

Janice, thanks for these snippets.
I try to understand the people that I read. These help.
Warm hugs,

Anonymous said...

Wow, "Ten Things About [insert name]", what a brilliant idea. Going as far as thirteen was unexpected. Nice work, nice viking!

Anonymous said...

Kirsten Ellison says: Thank you for this Janice, I have just read over it again and think it truly lovely. I think it's very clever of you to write in third person, it seems so much more descriptive that way. Your husband sounds truly lovely: the trip to Bristol was a real gift and I love the idea of you and he going out and flying your kites together. Please accept my apologies for the entry above, I wince to see it there: I may well have a different identity on 360, but it certainly isn't "courtesy" girl is it. Hoe very rude of me...and I do hope the lovely Dove writes for us soon too. Kxx

Marcus Amenophis said...

My dear Janice:
Great post, but you left out several seminal (!) facts -- important, even crucial to the the Janiphiles (sometimes called "Janicazzi")among us. Here are 3:
1) J gets giggly-hysterical at the mere sight (or sound) of the word "knockers," especially when it is a misprint for "knickers,"as in "pull down your knockers!"
2) Though not argumentative as a rule, J is a master debater. Or something like that.
3) J can be witty in several languages, and therefore may properly be... oh, skip it...

Janice said...

Dear Dove, you are not a copy cat. Lots of people do this. And, yes, he is the good sort...smiles.

Paul, you are welcome. Hope it makes sense.

Kirsten, thanks for your comment. Janice can only curtsy to you.

Marcus Amenophis, Janiphiles, are there really such strange creatures out there? And you are right, knockers instead of knickers makes me laugh. I am not sure about that remark about debater though. Perhaps you are mocking me? The third one I will not even comment upon...smiles.

Soppy Man said...

Just found your blog by accident.

How nice to find another person who flys kites and thinks about spanking.

Hope you had fun at Bristol festival (I did).

Your stories are very good!

Anonymous said...

Kirsten says: Master debator our Janice is, but most certainly a cunning linguist also. As a certified Janicite, (there is an entire tribe of us in the woods of Hertfordshire), it is her cleverness and wit we enjoy, but it is her grace and encouragement of others who write for which she is best beloved. There are many young women, (two), hiding among the silver ferns, who speak often behind her back, and say most lovely things about her. Whatever she thinks of herself, (and her inability to spell the word "curtsey" like a Pom rather than a Merican notwithstanding), I think she's viking brilliant!

Janice said...

Dear Soppy Man, I found the festival very nice. We took a wrong turn while getting there so we had to walk around the whole area but we got there in the end. It was brilliant. Thanks for reading!

Kirsten is naughty and Janice is daft but that is not news, at least the last bit. Thank you for your kind words. I am deeply honoured.