Friday, 23 November 2007

Waiting

I am still a little upset by my ordeals in my second life. I feel a little stupid reacting so strongly but I can't, really, help it. I had decided it was story time again and was browsing through my older stories. I lost heart a little and though of one, 'no, that is too brutal', of another, 'no, too silly,' of a third, 'too badly written.' I couldn't decide. I wanted to put something on the blog today so I decided to put this story up. It is like an experiment, something I just wrote out of nowhere. I had some kind of setting akin to The Story of O in mind and perhaps it is a rip off. I am not sure I even think it is very good but some parts I like, others not. I will put it up as it is with just the odd editing. Obviously I find it good enough to put on the blog but I don't know if I mean anything with putting it here.


As I came in to my room I found the note on my bed. I took it and read it with trembling fingers. It was short but very clear:


You are to be punished.

Change to your red bikini and wait at the road.

Someone will collect you there.


My heart started pounding in my chest. I knew it would come but not what it would be. I was to be punished. But for what? I didn't know I had done anything wrong.


It was not a cold day but I shivered as I walked over to my drawer and took out my red bikini. It was the tiniest of all my swimsuits. They had chosen the red bikini because it was tiny, because I would feel most exposed in it. I put it on the bed and looked at it. The note didn't say when but there was no way for me to know and I may well be overdue already. I had to change and go out even if I would have to wait for a long time to be collected.


I started to take off my clothes knowing I couldn't be late if they were there waiting for me. I put on the bikini. I turned to my mirror regarding myself. I saw a very scared girl looking thin and very naked in a too small bikini.


The bikini was bright red and had a small but not tiny top of triangles and tiny strings. The bottom was small but not a string although there were knots at the sides making it cover very little of my body. I had never dared to show myself in this bikini. It was too revealing, I thought. I was too embarrassed to use it. I wondered if I could take shoes but the note said nothing about shoes, only about the bikini so I decided to be barefoot.


I felt naked and exposed as I walked down to the road. There were not many houses around so nobody saw me but at the roadside all cars passing by would see me. I shivered.


No one waited for me at the roadside. I had to stand there and wait. No cars passed by and I was happy about that. Still I felt naked and exposed and I shivered although the evening was soft and warm.


Three cars passed me by as I stood there. I pretended to be on my way somewhere but I noticed that they looked at me. I didn't dare to move away from the spot outside my house. I was waiting for to be collected. I don't know how long I waited but it felt like an eternity.


At last a big car pulled up. It was black and very elegant. It seemed as if the woman sitting in the back was the important passenger and the man at the wheel her chauffeur. She was elegantly dressed and seemed so posh that I was surprised as I saw her open her door and step out of the car. It seemed to be something below her dignity. She had a long black dress that had a high neck and long sleeves. She wore a small black hat and medium heel shoes. She walked up to me and looked at me. I felt terribly naked in front of her. I didn't dare to speak.


She stared at me but did not speak. She made a gesture with her hand and the man stepped out of the car and walked up to her.


'Get the tool!' she snapped at him and I saw him walk to the boot of the car with a strange smile on his face. The woman continued staring at me. I thought it inappropriate to stare back so I lowered my gaze feeling myself inferior to this beautiful woman.


I saw the man returning with something in his hand which he gave to the woman. It was a long black wooden handle with some three or four leather strands hanging from one end. The strands or strings had knots on them and with a freezing sensation I realised that it was a kind of whip. The word punishment in the note became frighteningly real at that moment.


'Put your hands on the bonnet!' the woman ordered me. There was no option for me but obeying. I walked over to the big black car and put my hands on the bonnet. It was still warm.


I heard a movement behind me and the man suddenly stood close to me. I would have anticipated it but I was taken by surprise as I felt him gently grab my bikini bottom and slide it down my thighs. My heart started pounding as I heard the woman moving closer to me.


She wasted no time. I heard a hissing sound behind me and then a loud crack. My dazed mind realised that it was the whip and the sound of it hitting my tender flesh. The pain entered my mind after that. I imagined a white hot iron bar pressed against my buttocks. I held my breath.


I heard the whip hissing through the air again and had time to feel my heart stop in anticipation of the impact. The sound was brutal and the pain was beyond description.

She gave me six more lashes and I was shaking like a leaf as she was finished. My bottom was on fire and my mind was in turmoil. I had been beaten and I couldn't understand it. I hadn't screamed but I felt tears in my eyes.


I didn't dare removing my hands from the bonnet or pulling up my bikini bottom that hung around my knees. I waited in my position. I heard a sound that may have been the snap of fingers. Soon I felt the presence of the man right behind me. He moved close to me and soon I felt his body touching mine from behind. It was almost as an embrace and for a split second I felt a kind of comfort from that but my mind brought me back to reality.


I felt his hands fiddling with something below my buttocks and my heart almost stopped as I felt something soft but still cold pressed against my bottom. He directed his sex into me from behind and when he was in place I felt his hands on my hips. With the sound of my heart pounding in my ears I realised that I was being taken. I felt his sex penetrating me from behind. It didn't hurt but I was overwhelmed by the sheer force of it. I didn't dare moving my hands from the bonnet but kept in place as I felt him moving inside me.


I wanted to cry out but the silence of the man and the elegant woman made this seem extremely inappropriate. I endured his penetration in silence. He pumped in me and soon he came closer to the end. I was overwhelmed but not aroused and found the whole thing nothing but degrading and humiliating.


He came inside me and soon withdrew. I was still standing with my hands on the bonnet of the black car while my body was shaking.

'Get in the car!' the woman ordered.


I straightened my back and reached down and pulled up my bikini bottom. I was relieved to be, at least, partly dressed again. The woman had returned to the car and she had opened the left back door from inside and I stepped into the car and sat down.


The leather seat felt cold and strange against the whipped skin of my bottom, barely covered in my bikini. I felt naked against the seat and in the car and especially beside the elegantly clad woman.


As we drove off my heart started to beat slower and I took a deep breath.

'Where are you taking me?' I dared ask with a thin voice.

'You are to be punished,' the woman answered without even looking at me.

'Why am I being punished?' I asked.

She didn't answer.





8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Curtseygirl says: Hooray, I got here before Dove did. IN YOUR FACE DOVE!! Umm, sorry about that Janice. Janice, what a brilliant story...except for the grammar mistakes of course, (hey you do it to me, "we are the cheeky girls" after all). I have been wanting to write a car-themed spanking for a while, I admit to a fantasy of being bent over the bonnet of a car for a smacking. Ooh yeah, maybe I shall write that. Hmm. Anyway, lovely. Don't like the 'rape' aspect, but it does fit your story...and it's a great story. Don't go to SL, you're much better loved in 360! Kx.

Paul said...

Janice, I enjoyed this, I can see why you feel it's a little like O.
But I believe that all stories that have anonymous Doms and and punishments for unrealised offences, will be a little like the story of O.
Every time that I sit down to write some fiction, I fear I'm ripping someone off. I've read so much in my life, I probably am, but never deliberately.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

Janice said...

Dear Curtseygirl, I found one grammar error and that was in the beginning. Punctuation in this story is sadly lacking but that is as it is.

Dear Paul, I was thinking about the surface, elegant car and driver and everything but perhaps you are right. You shouldn't let the feeling of ripping something off stop you from writing. Everything is already said, at least once.

Dove said...

Janice, I very much enjoyed this story. The uncertainty of the girl and then the harsh punishment and following humiliation which seems not to have been the true punishment at all. I wouldn't mind a sequel to this one.

I'm sure a certain avatar wore a tiny red bikini for awhile too...see stories do come from anywhere.

Aww Curtseygirl, I thought to let another get pole position here for once. Though Janice's poles usually include a flogging, so beware. *grins*

Hugs
Dove

Janice said...

Brilliant Dove, being at pole position...at the whipping post...chuckles. Yes, the red bikini has been there before. Hm, a sequel...we'll see.

Anonymous said...

Curtseygirl: That's all well and good Dove, you know what they say about Australian girls: their ancestors were British convicts so they enjoy being flogged...not that I'd know anything about such things...being a Kiwi...like yourself...sometimes...
And yes, I too recall the red bikini...

Wystan E said...

The story works for me because it centers on details from contemporary life -- cars, bikinis -- in contrast to archetypal images of ancient marketplaces or fantasy kingdoms of pain. The key is the possibly (or certainly) public nature of the punishment -- jolting because of the modern setting.

I am intrigued that the Mistress uses a man (his sex) as another instrument of punishment. One wonders about this relationship...

Mick said...

Dear Janice
You wonder why your story 'Waiting' has ‘evoked so much reaction’. Well, here’s why I think it has.

The set up of is brilliant: a young woman reads a curt note informing her that she is to be punished for an unspecified offence, of which she is unaware, committed against an unnamed person; nevertheless, she obeys the note’s instructions and leaves the house; then, after an embarrassing wait in public, a car pulls up and she is bent over the bonnet where she is first whipped by the elegant and superior female passenger before being penetrated from behind by the driver, an act which she silently endures even though she finds it ‘degrading and humiliating’.

Thus, within a few pages, you have left your readers ‘waiting’ (was this double meaning in the title intended?) for answers to a whole bunch of questions: who wrote the note? who is the girl who has to be punished? is she a genuine submissive, given that she is not aroused by anything that has happened to her so far? and, if not, what induces her utter obedience? is she perhaps a slave? or (like ‘O’) so in love that she is prepared to do anything her lover asks of her? or is she being compelled to obey because of, say, a contract she has signed or a debt she has incurred? who has ordained that she be punished, and why? who is the elegant and superior lady who whips her?

There is just one question raised at the start of your story which seems to have been answered: what form will the girl's punishment take? But then comes the wonderful twist right at the end: the dominant female character orders the young woman into the car and obliquely answers her question 'Where are you taking me?' with the staement 'You are to be punished'.

So still more questions: if the girl’s treatment over the bonnet of the car was not a punishment, what was it? is it that it was so trivial compared to what is to come that it didn’t really count (I like this idea!)? where is she being taken? what will happen to her there?

You say in your preamble that you ‘had some kind of setting akin to The Story of O in mind’. Surely, then, the car must arrive at a secluded house (OK, ‘mansion’) where we gradually learn some of the answers to all these questions.

Please, before long, feel 'inspired to let… [the story] continue’ and provide some of the answers I am waiting for.

All love,
Mick